Rogue One: Initial Thoughts, Part Three

* Today is all about the bad guys.

* Orson Krennic. Walking out of the theater, he was the most underwhelming part of Rogue One for me. (The character, not the performance. Ben Mendelsohn is exquisitely evil as Krennic. "Oh, it's beautiful..." is the line reading of the movie for me.) I just felt like there wasn't much to him besides a great performance and a wicked cape.

I've warmed up to Krennic a good deal. I like where his character ends up. Like Jyn and company, he becomes another soldier forgotten to history. The fact that he dies usurped and alone, destroyed by his own creation is riveting stuff. And like our heroes, he looks his death square on, powerless to change it.

Think how fascinating his death would be if we knew more about him. We hear the Death Star is behind schedule. Is it his fault? Is that why he's slowly losing power over it? Or is he just another hardworking, screwed-over middle manager whose boss hogs all the glory?

What drives him? The power? The work? That sweet Imperial grant money?

A little more clarity could've turned Krennic into an all-time great villain. I'm willing to admit there's something I missed during my first viewing that would explain away my frustrations. We'll see.

* Death troopers, man. Those assholes can aim.

* What else is there to say about Tarkin? He's in the movie for a good reason, even if he gets too much screentime. Right now, I'm ambivalent about Peter Cushing's digital resurrection. I prefer the idea of this technology being used to age/de-age living actors who are involved with the production. I'm pleased to hear Peter Cushing's family gave their blessing, but it still raises a lot of questions for the future.

At this time, the technology isn't photo-realistic. It's impressive...but fake. Since it is an obvious artificial performance, I'm not sure how this differs from his likeness being used in a Star Wars comic or on Rebels.

Again, there are questions for the future - if the technology ever progresses past the uncanny valley. I'm not sure it ever will, though. The tech here is a big step forward from Jeff Bridges' de-aging in Tron: Legacy. It's not perfect and a little distracting - especially the one shot of "young" Carrie Fisher. But here's the thing: recasting, makeup, or digital augmentation - they're all going to spoil the illusion to some degree. It's gonna happen and it's not that big a deal. I was willing to step back and go along with the idea that Tarkin - not Peter Cushing - was alive again on the big screen.

Though if Christoper Lee were still alive, I bet he'd be Hayao Miyazaki-levels of mortified by all this.

* Darth Vader. One bad pun and a lot of badass moments. James Earl Jones still has it. I've always been of the opinion that Vader can be a whiny bastard and the baddest villain of all time. That being said, it's nice to leave the whiny bastard behind and get the character back to where we met him in A New Hope.

Rogue One: Initial Thoughts, Part Two

* Saw Gerrera. One character, one monster, and one idea too many for this movie.

Don't get me wrong. I like this character and the idea of a more militant band of rebels. And I dig what Forest Whitaker's doing. It's big - but he's in control of the performance. And we need more weird performances in sci-fi movies. Here's the problem: we're introduced to his rebels and the Guardians of the Whills on Jedha. All of our affection goes to Donnie Yen and Jiang Wen's characters before Jyn reunites with Saw.

It's too much information in too short a time - because this movie moves.

* Donnie Yen as Chirrut Îmwe. My favorite new character by a country mile.

* I wish we got more on the Guardians - and how the Empire is stripping another piece of the Jedi from history. I'm not sure why Saw wasn't a part of this group, especially since there isn't much tension once Jyn and company arrive at his base. That feels like a cleaner narrative.

* One idea half-explored in the final cut is that the rebellion is trying to be an army while clinging to the democracy they once were. You see an uglier side of the Rebellion here, and it feels like Saw Gerrera was designed to show a road they shouldn't go down. On that front, he's in and out of the movie too fast for that to stick.

* There are only a few moments in this movie I actually dislike - and the brain-sucking monster is one of 'em. It's ticking off a box on a list of things we expect from Star Wars. First off, it seems weird that a group of insurgents travels around with a polygraphuosaurus - but hey, it's Star Wars. Let's not get too Comic Book Guy about this.

My beef is they set up that this monster will fry your brain while sucking it. After his brain-sucking, Bodhi Rook (a great Riz Ahmed) snaps back awfully fast with no harm done, and the creature is never seen again. Maybe a previous draft featured Saw attempting to use it on Jyn or Cassian? As is, it feels like a long way to go for one small link in the narrative chain.

* There are a lot of good things in this part of the movie, too. The battle in the city streets of Jedha is fantastic, gritty and visceral. And as I said on Twitter, Donnie Yen kung fu fightin' stormtroopers filled a hole in my heart I didn't know was there.

Galen Erso's holographic message to his daughter is powerful stuff. Jyn's scenes with Saw are too brief to have the same power, but I appreciate how Saw's death is handled. He'd only slow Jyn down. Saw looks death in the face, knowing he did what he could. It's a nice bit of foreshadowing for where the film ends up.

Rogue One: Initial Thoughts

No, it's not the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back. But it's pretty darn good.

Rogue One feels manufactured, even if it was manufactured with love. I'm sure I'll warm to it more on repeat viewings. I walked out of Force Awakens the first time with frustrations (though fewer than I have with Rogue One), and I freakin' adore that movie now.

My time is limited due to the holiday season, so I'll be jotting down thoughts over the weekend about Rogue One. Full spoilers ahead - so come back after you've seen the movie. And remember, there's no right way to enjoy Star Wars. These are my thoughts and they're gonna change with time. But here's where I am now with this messy but riveting entry in the series. Please feel free to leave a comment or engage with me on Twitter.

* Holy shit, the ending. They went for it. I'm curious what the backlash from parents with younger kids will be. Rogue One may join the infamous list of films - like Dune and Batman Returns -  aimed at kids that are so not for kids. I'm not letting my young son anywhere near this movie for a long time. More thoughts on the ending to come.

* Well, one more thought right now. On the whole, it's the right ending.

* Although offering no surprises, the opening sequence - where a young Jyn Erso is orphaned - is still tense. A real rough opening. From the start, this film is visually and tonally different. The writing also differs from previous installments. Not bad different - but these characters and their voices didn't come from George Lucas or Lawrence Kasdan. The dialogue is punchy and lean. There's little of the bantering we expect from Star Wars. And it works.

* These characters truly feel new, but they still fit comfortably into the Star Wars universe.

* It's amazing how little footage from the teaser trailer (above) is in the final movie.

* Not sure we'll ever know how the story changed with reshoots, but I'm guessing the focus was on Jyn's backstory and character arc. In the movie we got, she is a criminal - but she's just trying to get by. My guess is she was a harder character at the start, much more morally complex. The issue probably wasn't about softening her but making sure she was a counterpoint to Cassian Andor, who does the Rebellion's dirty work.

* The teaser trailer plays like she's a hostage of the Rebellion. Was the relationship with her father not clear at first and they saw her as a potential threat? If that was the case, I can see audiences - especially casual viewers - having mixed feelings about the Rebellion, especially if this scene still took place after Cassian shooting a fellow conspirator in the back.

* I bet Jyn originally left Saw Gerrera, not the other way. The idea of her being orphaned twice works, but it feels a little... Disney. Lucasfilm most likely wanted us to think the choices she made were the only choices available to her.

* Oh man, we're gonna get to Saw Gerrera. By far the messiest part of the movie. More tomorrow.

Star Trek: First Contact (20th Anniversay)

Had to fix a clogged drain tonight, so not much time for words tonight.

In short, happy 20th anniversary to First Contact, one of the best Star Trek movies. Action-packed but still thoughtful, proudly trumpeting a better tomorrow. No offense to J.J. Abrams, but I still think it's the most masterfully directed movie of the franchise. The way the camera moves around James Cromwell as he steps forward to shake that Vulcan's hand gives me goosebumps every time.

It's a shame that Jonathan Frakes wasn't at the helm of more blockbusters. He's one hell of a director who made one hell of a film.

Ghost Story (Dresden Files)

First time reading (well, listening to) Ghost Story. I've been rationing out the Dresden Files books slowly, especially now that I'm coming to the last books in the series to date. I waited as long as I could before discovering how Jim Butcher resolved the cliffhanger from Changes. While I won't overtly spoil what said cliffhanger was, just look at the title Ghost Story.

It's not one-for-one, but The Dresden Files books come in two flavors, Harry Dresden wins the day but digs himself deeper into a hole or Harry Dresden wins the day and decreases the chances that he will, to use Butcher's words, "take the southbound train" when his journey is truly over. Ghost Story falls under that second category, even if it's more bittersweet than most.

Still, it's exactly the book I needed right now. Butcher admits that Harry Dresden is bascially Peter Parker, if Spider-Man were allowed to continually change and mature over the years. Both characters speak to me at such a fundamental level. Flawed, human, brave, self-doubting, determinated, regretful, hopeful, and yes, a wise-ass.

And there's good lesson to take away from these books, especially during these times: there's no monster out there that you can't look in the face and mock - preferably with a cheesy Star Wars quote.

Again, exactly what I needed right now.

Weekend Plans of the Nerd Kind (11/18 - 11/20)

Out of town this weekend. Old friend's birthday.

Enjoy yourself. Do something good for someone else.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders

Man, what a treat. And a $.99 rental on iTunes right now.

It's made with affection and a healthy respect for silliness. DC's home video division gets close to perfectly capturing the tone of Batman '66. It's no surprise to see names from Brave and the Bold (such a fantastic show) in the credits. It's made by people who believe the world needs a few more Caped Crusaders and a few less Dark Knights.

I couldn't agree more.

The Nice Guys (More Thoughts)

Tons of fun. Enjoyed it a little less than expected.

It's always cool, but only amazing in fits and starts. It's a shaggy dog of a story that coasts on its considerable charm. It feels like Shane Black focused too much time on flexing his directing chops at the expense of the script, which doesn't crackle with life like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (his best script and movie) did. But it further proves that Black is an exceptional writer and director.

There are more than a few moments where the film hits its mark, surprising you with a gag, a moment of violence, or a clever play on classic pulp cliches. The one surprise missing are the moments of weight that Kiss Kiss had - moments where Black considered the horrible things he was always puts his characters through.

Despite the story being underdeveloped in places, Healy (Russell Crowe) and March (Ryan Gosling) are the best duo Black's created yet. To say anything more about them would ruin the film's surprises. (And Jesus, the red band trailer spoiled far too much.) While Ryan Gosling gets the showier performance (absolutely inspired), Russell Crowe walks a tightrope between tough and charming better than he ever has before.

For better or worse, their story is just beginning as the credits roll. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but I wish I hadn't felt like the best was yet to come.

The Nice Guys

My head hurts. A lot.

Going to finish watching The Nice Guys with volume down low. Watch it. It's good. Probably the second best movie of Shane Black's career. More on that tomorrow.

Warcraft

Not as bad as I expected. But not, you know, good.

Don't know what I can say that the initial reviews didn't. Far too many characters and world-building in the first act. A rushed back half and an anti-climatic, franchise-building ending. Having played Warcraft II and III (only dipped my toe into World of Warcraft - not a MMO guy), I could follow everything well enough. I just didn't care.

Like The Phantom Menace, Warcraft gets all the pieces on the board for future movies. And like Lucas' prequel, it feels unnecessary to start at square one. Most of the movie - where the orcs come from, the corruptive magic of the Fel, and the death of Lothar's son - could've been told through visual shorthand or scenes where we learn about this world a piece at a time while an actual story was told.

The odd thing is I'm still impressed Duncan Jones' direction. I've never seen a movie I had so many problems with that I thought was so well-directed. And I'm not saying that because I'm such a huge fan of Moon and Source Code. As he's already proved, he's great with actors and can do spectacle. He can tell complicated stories with complicated ideas. This is only a guess, but it feels like he was forced to cut a three-hour movie down to two.

There are a few nice things here. The visual effects for the Orcs are another step forward for mo-cap technology, especially in capturing nuanced facial expressions. Travis Fimmel and Ben Foster turn in surprisingly good performances. And there are a few moments here and there that actually work. In those moments, you feel like you're watching something other than a $200 million Wikipedia summary.

But here's the crazy thing, I'd still be willing to watch Jones return to this world and get it right.

Weekend Plans of the Nerd Kind (11/11 -11/13)

Writing: Not much planned at the moment. We have another round of Indefensibles articles to finish. I haven't attempted a prose work in awhile. I've been playing with doing a Cthulhu Mythos story just for fun. But instead of mimicking Lovecraft's purple prose, I'd thought it'd be fun to tackle that universe in the lean style of Elmore Leonard or Gregory Mcdonald. You know, more dialog than prose. Play with the Mythos, but run as far away from aping Lovecraft as possible.

Could be fun.

TV and Movies: Almost done with Season 5 of Gilmore Girls. It's my first time through the show. The wife's watched it two or three times since it popped up on Netflix. In the past, I'd sit down with her off and on and watch a few episodes. It's now one of our favorite shows. Like a lot of serialized shows, the plotting is a bit wonky to keep the dramatic tension going. But, Jesus, the banter. I live for banter, and I'm not sure anyone does it better.

Speaking of banter, I have The Nice Guys checked out along with Warcraft. Actually more excited to watch Warcraft, but I know The Nice Guys is gonna treat me better. I just need a little fantasy right now, I think, after this goddamned week.

Games: About a quarter of the way through Resident Evil: Revelations. It's not bad - but a big step down when you play it right after Resident Evil 4. That was my second time through RE4, and while I remember liking it the last time, I realized this time around that it's a friggin' masterpiece. At this moment, it might even crack my all-time top ten games.

Anyway, Revelations feels slight in comparison, but it's a nice fusion of classic Resident Evil survival horror (limited ammo and health, the necessity to avoid enemies, etc.) and the more action-oriented direction the series took with RE4. The controls are a huge improvement over RE4, but the limited monster types and backtracking might wear out its welcome. Still, it's a survival horror game on a giant cruise ship. That's pretty kick-ass for a Deep Rising fan like me.

Books: Finally getting around to picking up The Dreden Files again. Getting near the end of the series with Ghost Story. Not much to say about it so far. Maybe more on that next week.

11/10/16

I don't know where we go from here.

It's forty-eight hours after this goddamned election. Words, feelings, and plans for the future are still half-formed. A dam in my head has been erected, and there's this phantom limb feeling that it should be ready to burst.

We, as a nation, are not lost - not yet - but we have lost something. Most likely, for good. And I won't lay blame for that loss on anyone's feet - there's enough blame to go around. I didn't do enough. We didn't do enough to say, "No. This isn't normal. This isn't right. This is not who we are."

Guess what? This is who we are. We're talkers, not listeners. We're winners. We feel like we have the right to be right all the time. This is who we are, and I don't know where we go from here.

I know where I need to go, what I need to do - at least in some small part. I need to write. Something I don't do enough. It's probably the only thing I'm good at it... and it's something I hate doing. I hate it because the "you suck" voice in my head - a voice I can usually tune out - gets cranked to eleven. And it keeps getting louder the more I do it. Better to keep that voice quiet, I usually tell myself.

I'm beginning to understand how limiting, how damaging, that voice is. It goes through a lot of our heads. More than you probably think. And that voice may even be the reason we elected this monster of a man as our next president. And I bet you good money that tonight, as he tweets about how unfair it is that people are in the streets protesting his electoral win, there's a voice in his ruined head that sounds like daddy. And even now daddy's screaming, "You're a failure. You're a failure."

But enough of that shit. At least for now. It's time for all of us to do something - anything - that helps give the middle finger to the darkness that surrounds us. For me, that's writing. Thanks to everyone who's reading this now or plans to keep coming back. I imagine most of you will be people I know only through Twitter. So let me say now how grateful I am to have you in my life. Even before this awful time, you've made me laugh and see the good in this world. For that, I'm eternally grateful. I hope I've made you laugh, as well - and see things from a slightly different angle. I'm so glad you listened. And I want to hear what you have to say, now more than ever.

I'm not sure what good it will do, but it's time to resume this blog. A few hundred words a day about one geek and his geek obsessions.It's something. And something is better than nothing.

END OF LINE.

XCOM 2 (Initial Thoughts, Day One - Where I Just Say "Holy Crap!" a Lot)

Holy crap. Holy crap! HOLY CRAP! It's finally on its way! XCOM 2 is finally on its way!

HOLY CRAP!

In case you wanted to start holiday shopping for me early, I'll let you know now that all I want for Christmas is XCOM 2 and someone to watch, nurture, and assure my son that daddy will acknowledge his existence again once those alien bastards have paid for what they've done.

Back with more thoughts tomorrow on this upcoming game. That baby I'll be ignoring in November is going to be up in a few hours.

Weekend Plans of the Nerd Kind (5/29/15 - 5/31/15)

Errands and lawn care! Baseball games! Going out with friends this weekend! An actual social life!

And no, I haven't been replaced by a more social, well-adjusted pod person replica of myself. Frankly, I resent the implication.

And on an unrelated note, what gets the viscous residue of an exploded pod person pod out of carpet? I'm, uh, asking for a pod friend...

XCOM: Enemy Within - The Long War (Day Two)

So tired.

Baby murdered another piece of my brain tonight. Parenting, man...

Could barely spell "enemy" in the title of tonight's post. Brain hemorrhaging out whatever it needs to turn letters into words. Words into thoughts.

Started new game of The Long War. Checked and double-checked I was on the easiest difficulty setting.

There is no easiest difficulty. There is no hope.

Four squad members panicked on the first mission like they were all Bill Paxton impersonators in Vegas.

Are there Bill Paxton impersonators in Vegas? 'Cause that would be awesome - that Elvis impersonation thing is so played out.

I don't get why people dig Elvis so much. He's not as cool as Bill Paxton in Aliens.

Four squad members panicked at once. The remaining two protested their teammates lying down on the job by, I can only assume, purposely missing every alien on the battlefield.

Nothing good happened after this.

Nothing good will ever happen again, not till sleeptime.

Viva game over, man.

END OF LINE.

XCOM: Enemy Within - The Long War

The Long War, a fan modification for the PC version of XCOM: Enemy Within, is evil. We're talking "Hitler's disco love nest in the seventh circle of hell" evil. It's so evil, in fact, that if the people who made Dark Souls were to play it, they would say, "Goddamn, guys, chill out. It's just a game."

There were chryssalids in the second mission.

The. Second. Fucking. Mission.

Between facing chryssalids and a ton of upgraded monsters, large and small, I got a total party kill within a few rounds of starting what is essentially the first mission where the training wheels come off in the original game. And this was on The Long War's version of normal difficulty, to boot. I'm curious to see if the difficulty of the enemy forces are randomized in the game - a change to XCOM's steady challenge creep - because this was a ridiculously overwhelming encounter so early in the game.

I won't have time tonight, but I plan to start a new game tomorrow, to see if this MOD always stacks the deck so hard against you. For someone who's clocked in over 200 hours on XCOM - thanks largely to playing the iOS version during lunch breaks - it's amazing to be surprised by this game again. But I'm worried the challenge will be so intense that I won't be able to fully enjoy all the surprises in store for me.

And what a different game this is, obvious from the moment you start playing it. There are a vast number of tweaks and additions to the game (over 700, according to the Wiki) - including my favorite new option to trade out your pistol for a number of new sidearms, including a sawed-off shotgun. You know, for close encounters.

And believe me, there are going to be close encounters. Chryssalids in the second mission, man. The second fucking mission...

END OF LINE.

Wickett's Geek Emporium: The Returnening

At this moment, at a crossroads in my life, I remember what my mother said to me as a child. "Son," she said, "when God closes a door, He opens a window. That's how the murder clowns get into your room at night."

So, yes, a chapter of my life has closed. Four years ago, I accepted a promotion with my company that ensured long hours, an unpredictable, dreary schedule, and enough physical and mental exhaustion to challenge someone without my health conditions. During the last few years, I never found the time or the energy to write like I used to.

Also, this thing with the toothbrush happened...


Whether either of these things is enough of an excuse to let this site fall by the wayside, I don't know. But I've missed doing this, and I'm ready to get back to it. As of today, I started a new job with my company that's far less demanding, with a set schedule that will give me time for my family, hobbies, and writing.

There's no better time than the present to start updating this site again regularly. So, welcome back - or welcome for the first time - to this little curiosity of a blog: a few hundred words off the cuff each weekday about one nerd's passions - movies, TV, comics, games. Expect updates late in the evening each weeknight.

Thanks for reading. Talk to you tomorrow... about something. I don't what. We'll find out when we get there.

And don't think for a second that shutting your bedroom windows will keep the murder clowns out. That just puts them in a murderin' mood.

END OF LINE.

Blade Runner Sequel (An Open Letter to Alcon Entertainment)

Please, Alcon Entertainment. Please don't make a sequel to Blade Runner. At least not one with Harrison Ford - or, more importantly, his character from that film, Rick Deckard.

It's not that I think you or Ridley Scott will do a bad job of a sequel. And believe me, I never get tired of watching Harrison Ford. But I don't think you understand what you're losing - and potentially how little you're gaining - by making another film about Rick Deckard. Because if Harrison Ford returns to a character he played over thirty years ago - a character that may or may not have a four-year lifespan, mind you - doesn't that pretty much guarantee Deckard is human? Unless, of course, the script does something terribly clever, possibly quite silly, with the character.

Either way, it's making a choice, giving us an answer, about who - or what - Deckard is. Ever since the release of The Director's Cut, the true nature of Rick Deckard has been up for debate. Is he human? Is he a Replicant? The film works either way - and one of the great joys of Blade Runner is having your own interpretation of a great, great film. Nerds like me never grow tired of arguing about the film with their friends or complete strangers on the Internet.

In fact, I'm a strong advocate that Deckard is human. The film works best for me - I say again, for me - when it's a story about a man who regains his humanity due to his experiences with the replicants. Even if a new film backs up my vision of the film, I don't want it.

I want the mystery. I want the debates. I want the story to have the meaning it currently has because we don't have all the answers. I don't want to know if Sam Spade or Kasper Gutman ever found the Maltese Falcon. I want Tony Soprano's fate to remain a Schrödinger's Tony Soprano paradox. And I want the mystery of Rick Deckard to remain a mystery. Not every movie needs sequel - and Blade Runner certainly is one of those movies. It's a complete story, even with - and most likely because - of its ambiguity.

It's too bad Blade Runner can't be left alone - but then again, what sci-fi classic is these days?

King Kong vs. Godzilla

No blog tonight, but here are some highlights from the live tweet of King Kong VS. Godzilla.

I'm hoping that King Kong vs. #Godzilla is a gritty drama about two aging monsters getting back in the saddle for one last ride.

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

You know, with sort of an Unforgiven, No Country for Old Kaiju sort of vibe. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Wait, there's a monster island that grows Roma tomatoes that gets you high? I am so into this film already. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

So, if these tomatoes or berries give you a euphoric high, is there also a mutant carrot that mimics the effects of PCP? #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Dude, the good guys just gave a cigarette to a kid. I'd be offended if the kid wasn't already hopped up on euphoric berries and PCP carrots.

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

King Kong just got face-hugged by a squid like it was straight out of Alien! That just pushed so many of my nerd buttons. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Uh-oh, Kong is hitting the euphoric berry juice awful hard. I'm pretty sure a drunk dial to his ex is imminent. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

And now the tribal villagers are doing the traditional "take away Kong's car keys" ritual dance. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

We're getting to the final battle. I hope it ends with Kong admitting he's got a euphoric berry problem and #Godzilla becomes his sponser.

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Kong has a pretty girl in his hand and is climbing, like, a five-story building instead of a skyscraper. The drink has really taken its toll

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Watching King Kong perform in this movie, I now know what it was like to watch fat Elvis perform live in Vegas. #Godzilla

— Jeremy Wickett (@The_Wick78) April 16, 2014

Titanfall (First Impressions)

Tonight, I piloted a big-ass robot in a video game. Said big-ass robot shot and punched other big-ass robots, who shot and punched my big-ass robot in return. (Also, I shot, stomped, and punched fellow human combatants who were not lucky enough to be piloting a big-ass robot like me... but that doesn't sound as cool or classy, does it?)

Our side had lost the battle, but a drop ship was coming down from orbit to collect the survivors, giving the losing side one last little victory to eke out. My robot charged to the evac site that was on top of a building on the other side of the map... only to find two enemy robots waiting there for me and my fellow survivors.

After a frantic firefight, another robot and myself took down the enemy robots -- but my big-ass robot was catastrophically damaged and about to become a big-ass explosion in a few short seconds. I quickly ejected from the robot like a pilot from a jet fighter. I shot straight up dozens of feet in the air.  At the height of my upward arc, I noticed the drop ship waiting below me. I timed my fall just right and using my jet pack (I mentioned there were jet packs, right?), I angled myself directly into the side door of the drop ship just before it took off into the sky and warped directly into orbit.

This experience is a thing that happened to me tonight in a video game.

The video game is called Titanfall.

You should buy Titanfall.

End of line.