Sunday, January 3, 2010

Of Wives, Scanners, and Glory Holes

My wife made a joke last night -- while I was a running a Star Wars Saga game, nonetheless -- that involved the phrase "glory hole."  I thought if girls tried to say things like "glory hole" or "rim job" or "donkey punch," their heads would explode a la Scanners.  That's what my parents always told me, and now I know they're liars -- which makes that two startling, disturbing revelations in a twenty-four hour period for me.

But just because an imminent head explosion was not in my wife's future after having a potty mouth, that still doesn't shake my belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with this. Simply put: girls shouldn't be allowed to say that.  It's that simple.  I mean, doesn't that violate some form of treaty that our two sexes have had in our perpetual cold war?  I think sanctions and other forms of penalties will need to be authorized and enforced against her, which will probably take the form of rude bodily functions administered to her in her sleep by yours truly.

OK.  To be fair, the joke was pretty funny.  But I still feel...feel...violated somehow.

Even worse: I'm not sure I mind.

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