Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I fell asleep this evening reading a book (my second attempt to start Naomi Novik’s His Majesty’s Dragon – still can’t get into it, though I’m trying). An hour or so after passing out, my wife shook me awake, already in mid-rant before my eyes were even open about the end of season 9 of Stargate SG-1. She does not respond well to season finale cliffhangers if she doesn’t have the DVDs for the next season on hand. And she won’t get them for another week.
For someone who can take out a full season of an hour-long show in less than 72 hours, this is an eternity.
This one was especially hard on her, since it seems like most everyone died (I'm not sure about that: I was half asleep still during the rant), and the good guys' entire space fleet got blown up or something. She loves those fleet shots – and who can blame her?
Anyway, she punctuated this rant with this sentence: “Christ, it was like Wolf 359 all over again!”
Man, that is sexy.
She is such a nerd – and she’s hot.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I can describe my reaction to The Orphanage in one word:
Folks, it’s that good. While it wears its inspirations on its sleeve, most notably The Sixth Sense and Poltergeist (especially Poltergeist), this is not a hack job. Writer Sergio G. Sánchez and director Juan Antonio Bayona together create a film with a singular, unique voice, and they have produced one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen.
At work (at least when I’m around), we always end up talking about movies. I don’t remember the full conversation, but I told Phil (a man who shares many of the same opinions on movies that I do – though he's a much bigger James Cameron fanboy than I) that the reason so many scary movies aren’t scary is because there is not a single character to care for. This is why the first big three movies by M. Night Shaymalan worked so well. And it’s why The Orphanage works. Sanchez starts with clichés – the cute kid and the spouse that simply doesn’t believe – and makes them into three-dimensional, honest characters.
I have a five-point scale for scary movies, and I’ll break The Orphanage down on that scale. But first, let me show you my scoring system.
1: Not Scary in the Slightest (as in, not scary in the slightest).
2: Mildly Creepy (a slow shiver that runs up and down your spine).
3: Creepy (that point in the movie where you ask yourself: “Why the fuck did I put this movie on? Why do I always watch these fucking movies?).
4: Downright Scary (the point in the film where you are actually yelling angrily at the film, no matter who is in the room with you: “Oh, you are not actually fucking going in there – are you, lady!? Oh, great: there goes the fucking flashlight…”)
5: Instant Pants-Fudge Factory (the less said about this one the better).
On this scale, The Orphanage starts on 2 and makes it all the way up 5. Rent it, watch it.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Adam Sandler comedies really piss me off.
It isn't the lame dick and fart jokes. It isn't the corny, saccharine sentiment that's been a part of all his comedies since The Wedding Singer (which I liked - Billy Fucking Idol, man). It isn't even all the latent bigotry and the perpetuation of stereotypes, either. It's the fact that Sandler keeps putting John Turturro, one of the best comic actors alive today, who can turn even the weakest joke into comic gold with his delivery, in his films.
Why does this piss me off? Because it means I have to watch these goddamn films, just to see the Turturro bits. And it looks like he's in You Don't Mess with the Zohan, which means now I have to watch a movie that I was previously completely uninterested in seeing...when it comes out on DVD, of course - I ain't paying for that shit, man.