Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Thing (Teaser Poster for the Prequel)

So, the prequel for The Thing, one of the most awesome horror movies to ever awesome, is called...The Thing?


Well, I guess it beats The Thing 2: Thing Harder.

Dumbass move? Maybe. But it's hard to summon any nerd rage over this one. True, it’s silly that two movies that tell two separate stories in the same universe have the same title, but I can’t think of a title that would sell this movie any better than keeping it simple. Also, if they do this movie right, you shouldn't need to see John Carpenter’s film to enjoy this prequel, since it's about how everything goes south at the Norwegian installation right before the existing story.

Mixed feelings on this one. Will I see this on opening weekend? Probably. But this movie didn't need to be made, even if there is a story to tell here. If the movie works, there's potentially an entire generation who will go into this movie without any knowledge of Carpenter’s film, enjoy it, and then go home and watch a true classic in the horror genre. And that's pretty cool.

Instead of a straight prequel, though, I would prefer to see a more Santa Clause Conquers the Martians genre mash-up called That Thing You Do! The story pretty much follows the Tom Hanks movie for the first half, with The Wonders going from playing in their garage to being a national sensation. Then, one night before the band plays to a sold-out stadium, Tom Hanks enters their dressing room and starts to give one of his pep talks, when suddenly he starts convulsing, his head pops off like a champagne cork, tentacles and gore from his neck stump rain down upon The Wonders and Liv Tyler, and hilarity/carnage ensues.

Now for that, you would get me in a theater on opening night.

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