Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Civilization 4 – or, Confucianism for Fun and Profit!

Broke down and finally bought Civilization 4. I’ve avoided this game for years: for fear that my addiction to it would be the ruin of me, turning my life into an after school special of addiction, lies, and heartbreak (“For One More Turn: The Jeremy Wickett Story”).

Whether I lose the battle with this addiction or not, it will have been worth it, for yesterday, I combined three words in an order that has, quite probably, never been done before. I have, ladies and gentleman, blazed a new literary trail for other men and women to follow.

Let me explain.

Usually, when I play Civ, I build peaceful civilizations, rich in culture and technological advances, though I have no compunction with expanding my borders and acquiring foreign cities by culture bombing the hell out of ‘em. After building a few of these peaceful civilizations, I decided to play as the Romans and dominate the globe through a cunning, ruthless mixture of military might, cultural advances, and religious indoctrination. It was while spreading my state religion to a foreign capital that I shouted this, three words that have quite probably never, ever been put in this order:

“Suck Confucianism, bitches!”

God bless you, Sid Meier.

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