http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Wars:_The_Force_Unleashed_%28video_game%29#Opening_crawl
OK, the game's story is crap. I'll run you through the first ten minutes, and let you extrapolate from there.
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, voted most likely by his graduating class at the Jedi Academy "to kill us all in a Dark Side, whiny bitch-induced rage," returns to the planet Kamino after stepping out for a second to grab a Big Gulp.
Drink in hand, wishing he remembered a straw, Vader descends into the bowels of a giant clone factory. Vader enters a darkened room. Incarcerated within is Starkiller, presumed dead at the end of the first game.
Vader intends to turn Starkiller, who may or may not be a clone, back to the Dark Side. Never the brightest Dark Lord of the Sith, Vader sets about this task in the dumbest way possible. Using droids that can physically represent people using holograms (holograms...is there anything they can't do?), Vader tests Starkiller's combat skills.
Starkiller kills the droids, save one. The one that, moments before, with its holographic do-dad thingys off, walked up to Starkiller and -- right in front of him, mind you -- turned into Juno Eclipse, his lost love. Vader orders Starkiller to kill it/her. Starkiller then gets a case of the cry babies, because obviously Jedi can't get in touch with the Force unless they have a good sulk first. Starkiller is torn, conflicted.
* * * *
This is, of course, stupid. Starkiller saw the droid turn into her! Vader just isn't even trying anymore. He could have at least had the droid, I don't know, walk around the corner, step into a cupboard, or even go behind a conveniently placed dressing screen ("Excuse...me...while...I...slip...into...something...more...squishy").
I don't know, something. Anything.
From this moment on, the scene should have played like this. The conclusion of the scene would end just as it does in the game:
INT. STARKILLER'S CELL
The DROID walks up to Starkiller. It turns into Juno Eclipse. Vader watches in the background, expectantly.
VADER: Destroy her!
STARKILLER: I can't...
VADER: DESTROY HER!
STARKILLER: I can't. I mean, I really can't. That's not her.
VADER: What?
STARKILLER: It's a droid, remember? You know, it walked up to me, turned into Juno...
VADER: Oh...
VADER takes a nervous sip from his Big Gulp. The echo of him clearing his throat fills the enormous room.
VADER: I was, uh, hoping you wouldn't notice that...
STARKILLER: Really? Really?
VADER: Well, I figured, you know, you're a clone...
STARKILLER: Yeah. I'm a clone. Not a retard.
VADER: You can still take a swing at it, if you want. It's kind of the same...
STARKILLER: Dude, I'm outta here.
BOLTS OF LIGHTENING shoot out of Starkiller's fingers, bringing Vader to his knees.
STARKILLER leaps out a giant window, plummeting to the raging waters below.
Showing posts sorted by date for query The Clone Wars. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query The Clone Wars. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II ( Day One -- Game Release and Kamino)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_The_Force_Unleashed#ILM_collaboration_and_cast_performance
* Went to Gamestop at midnight last night to pick up the game. Was the first to answer a Star Wars trivia question and won a free Star Wars cut-out and an upgraded collector's edition of the game. On the way home, Jesus spoke to me and told me He was giving me my virginity back.
True story.
* Wasn't impressed with the demo. In fact, I was so unimpressed that, driving to Gamestop last night, I thought about switching my reserve down-payment over to Rock Band 3. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that Rock Band 3 would require further expensive purchases -- keytar, new cymbals for the drums, a fee to import previous Rock Band songs, etc. True, you can just buy the Rock Band 3 disc and play it with the existing instruments, but we all know that I'm too much of a Rock Band whore to do just that.
Also, I had reconnected with my inner fanboy by the time I got to Gamestop -- though I'm still more excited about seeing where the story goes then actually playing the game. Reminds me a lot of Halo 3 in that respect.
* Did The Force Unleashed need a sequel? Or, more importantly, this sequel? The first game's story was a bit silly (to not repeat myself or come up with new jokes, see here), but it worked. It was the best told Star Wars story since Return of the Jedi, with a complete and satisfying ending, one that left no need for a sequel.
But a sequel was inevitable. I had hoped, though, that LucasArts would leave Starkiller buried, with General Kota, a man's Jedi, becoming the focus of the sequel. Seriously, who wouldn't want to play as the blind samurai?
Nope. Starkiller's back. Either he's a clone or Vader wants him to think he's a clone. I'm hoping for the former, since the first game's story almost collapsed in on itself thanks to all of Vader's silly subterfuge and double crosses (seriously, a guy that can choke a bitch using just his mind who's got a galaxy-sized totalitarian army behind him shouldn't be afraid of the direct approach).
Can't wait to see where the story goes.
* Say what you will about the first game, it was a giant step forward in performance capture, in translating an actor's full performance into a game. No game I've played in the last two years has topped it. And the cutscenes I've seen in the first two levels blow anything found in the first game out of the water.
If you filmed the opening dialog scene with Samuel Witwer and an actor in the Darth Vader suit, it would still play and feel much as it does in the game. Here's hoping the game's got a script to match the tech.
* Went to Gamestop at midnight last night to pick up the game. Was the first to answer a Star Wars trivia question and won a free Star Wars cut-out and an upgraded collector's edition of the game. On the way home, Jesus spoke to me and told me He was giving me my virginity back.
True story.
* Wasn't impressed with the demo. In fact, I was so unimpressed that, driving to Gamestop last night, I thought about switching my reserve down-payment over to Rock Band 3. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that Rock Band 3 would require further expensive purchases -- keytar, new cymbals for the drums, a fee to import previous Rock Band songs, etc. True, you can just buy the Rock Band 3 disc and play it with the existing instruments, but we all know that I'm too much of a Rock Band whore to do just that.
Also, I had reconnected with my inner fanboy by the time I got to Gamestop -- though I'm still more excited about seeing where the story goes then actually playing the game. Reminds me a lot of Halo 3 in that respect.
* Did The Force Unleashed need a sequel? Or, more importantly, this sequel? The first game's story was a bit silly (to not repeat myself or come up with new jokes, see here), but it worked. It was the best told Star Wars story since Return of the Jedi, with a complete and satisfying ending, one that left no need for a sequel.
But a sequel was inevitable. I had hoped, though, that LucasArts would leave Starkiller buried, with General Kota, a man's Jedi, becoming the focus of the sequel. Seriously, who wouldn't want to play as the blind samurai?
Nope. Starkiller's back. Either he's a clone or Vader wants him to think he's a clone. I'm hoping for the former, since the first game's story almost collapsed in on itself thanks to all of Vader's silly subterfuge and double crosses (seriously, a guy that can choke a bitch using just his mind who's got a galaxy-sized totalitarian army behind him shouldn't be afraid of the direct approach).
Can't wait to see where the story goes.
* Say what you will about the first game, it was a giant step forward in performance capture, in translating an actor's full performance into a game. No game I've played in the last two years has topped it. And the cutscenes I've seen in the first two levels blow anything found in the first game out of the water.
If you filmed the opening dialog scene with Samuel Witwer and an actor in the Darth Vader suit, it would still play and feel much as it does in the game. Here's hoping the game's got a script to match the tech.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Clone Wars: Season 3, Episode 1 -- "Clone Cadets"
Another sad, depraved rant on The Clone Wars, looking at each episode from an adult fan's perspective, by someone who should really go outside one of these days.
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode301.html
Forty-six episodes in and Rookies still remains the highlight of the bunch, a story that avoided most -- if not all -- of the show's continual problems. Despite Rookie's popularity, it's still surprising to see both episodes of The Clone Wars' season premiere dedicated to Domino Squad -- but it's cool to see that the show is listening to its fans.
Each story serves as a bookend to Rookies -- Clone Cadets shows Domino's struggle to pass basic training, while Arc Troopers continues the story of the squad's survivors. Neither episode is on par with Rookies -- but of the two, Clone Cadets gets closer to equaling its predecessor.
Both stories are hindered by an almost complete lack of dramatic stakes. Rookies worked because the fate of each clone was always in question. Their deaths, save one, were sudden and unexpected. Being a prequel, Clone Cadets can't create any real conflict, while Arc Troopers telegraphs the fate of each character and features no surprises.
Clone Cadets still works because, like Rookies, it knows how to tell a story in twenty-two minutes. Also, both episodes prove that dialing down the scale of the action scenes doesn't necessarily make them less exciting. And something about these five characters brings out the best in the writers: the dialog here is largely solid, and some of the jokes are actually amusing (personal favorite: "Oh yeah, and we look nothing alike, either...")
I actually dreaded watching the episode due to its obvious "you can do anything if you work together!" moral -- but it works due to a new character, 99, and the concept of clone rejects: aberrations in the cloning process. The Kaminoans and the Jedi have no qualms putting these deformed clones to hard labor. It's a chilling idea -- one that is, unfortunately, handled with kid gloves. The conclusion of the story is neat, uncomplicated, and all together too cheery -- but there's room for further stories that are a bit darker. A bit more honest.
One last complaint: the bounty hunters training these clones are two big piles of suck. The way I see it, bounty hunters are the baddest mothers in the Star Wars universe. How bad, you may ask? I'll put it to you this way: Samuel L. Jackson had to settle on being a Jedi. That's how bad
Bric, the story's main antagonist, has all the presence of a failed, overweight high school football coach. I thought he was going to tell the clones to take a lap or a salt tablet or something. Then there's his counterpoint, El-Les, who looks like he's ready to break down and cry at any moment. And let me tell ya', that French accent ain't doing him any favors, either.
Come on, I know this a kids' show -- but these characters are supposed to be intimidating. If the people making this show don't instill a healthy fear of intergalactic bounty hunters in our children when they're young, who will?
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode301.html
Forty-six episodes in and Rookies still remains the highlight of the bunch, a story that avoided most -- if not all -- of the show's continual problems. Despite Rookie's popularity, it's still surprising to see both episodes of The Clone Wars' season premiere dedicated to Domino Squad -- but it's cool to see that the show is listening to its fans.
Each story serves as a bookend to Rookies -- Clone Cadets shows Domino's struggle to pass basic training, while Arc Troopers continues the story of the squad's survivors. Neither episode is on par with Rookies -- but of the two, Clone Cadets gets closer to equaling its predecessor.
Both stories are hindered by an almost complete lack of dramatic stakes. Rookies worked because the fate of each clone was always in question. Their deaths, save one, were sudden and unexpected. Being a prequel, Clone Cadets can't create any real conflict, while Arc Troopers telegraphs the fate of each character and features no surprises.
Clone Cadets still works because, like Rookies, it knows how to tell a story in twenty-two minutes. Also, both episodes prove that dialing down the scale of the action scenes doesn't necessarily make them less exciting. And something about these five characters brings out the best in the writers: the dialog here is largely solid, and some of the jokes are actually amusing (personal favorite: "Oh yeah, and we look nothing alike, either...")
I actually dreaded watching the episode due to its obvious "you can do anything if you work together!" moral -- but it works due to a new character, 99, and the concept of clone rejects: aberrations in the cloning process. The Kaminoans and the Jedi have no qualms putting these deformed clones to hard labor. It's a chilling idea -- one that is, unfortunately, handled with kid gloves. The conclusion of the story is neat, uncomplicated, and all together too cheery -- but there's room for further stories that are a bit darker. A bit more honest.
One last complaint: the bounty hunters training these clones are two big piles of suck. The way I see it, bounty hunters are the baddest mothers in the Star Wars universe. How bad, you may ask? I'll put it to you this way: Samuel L. Jackson had to settle on being a Jedi. That's how bad
Bric, the story's main antagonist, has all the presence of a failed, overweight high school football coach. I thought he was going to tell the clones to take a lap or a salt tablet or something. Then there's his counterpoint, El-Les, who looks like he's ready to break down and cry at any moment. And let me tell ya', that French accent ain't doing him any favors, either.
Come on, I know this a kids' show -- but these characters are supposed to be intimidating. If the people making this show don't instill a healthy fear of intergalactic bounty hunters in our children when they're young, who will?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episode 8 -- Brain Invaders
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode208.html
Once again, I forgot my plan to chronicle this sad, depraved, and (arguably) adult Star Wars fan's take on this show. And now... the review
Love the title. Props to whoever came up with that one.
The episode's pretty solid, too. It largely focuses on Ahsoka, yes -- but she's toned down here and actually the right character for the story (Christ, never thought I'd say that), since Brian Invaders is a riff on monster movies and the teenage girl as the sole survivor is a classic trope of the genre.
It's one of the better directed episodes in the series, with a lot of great angles and an effective slow moving camera for the horror bits. I'm sure the highlight for adult fans is Anakin's interrogation scene of Poggle, where viewers are shown the effective one-two combo of a good old-fashioned bitch slap followed by a Force choke. It's one of the best sequences in the prequel era for showing that Anakin will become Darth Vader, something I personally haven't always been sold on with the prequel stories.
Not the best Clone Wars episode, but it's a lot of fun for horror fans.
Once again, I forgot my plan to chronicle this sad, depraved, and (arguably) adult Star Wars fan's take on this show. And now... the review
Love the title. Props to whoever came up with that one.
The episode's pretty solid, too. It largely focuses on Ahsoka, yes -- but she's toned down here and actually the right character for the story (Christ, never thought I'd say that), since Brian Invaders is a riff on monster movies and the teenage girl as the sole survivor is a classic trope of the genre.
It's one of the better directed episodes in the series, with a lot of great angles and an effective slow moving camera for the horror bits. I'm sure the highlight for adult fans is Anakin's interrogation scene of Poggle, where viewers are shown the effective one-two combo of a good old-fashioned bitch slap followed by a Force choke. It's one of the best sequences in the prequel era for showing that Anakin will become Darth Vader, something I personally haven't always been sold on with the prequel stories.
Not the best Clone Wars episode, but it's a lot of fun for horror fans.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episodes 5, 6, and 7
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode205.html
Returning to Geonosis is a an odd choice, since it's shown as an all-out victory in Attack of the Clones, but I'm sure the creative team wanted something besides droids to shoot, hack, blow up, and set on fire for a change, and doing all that to giant bugs keeps the carnage kid-friendly.
It reminded me of the original Clone Wars TV series. Not in its tone, but in its skillful way of creating just enough story to make all the action scenes feel like more than just a bunch of action scenes.
Despite the show's problems, these guys can always compose exciting action. And this one delivers on a scale not seen since the movies.
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode206.html
Meh.
It's an Ahsoka episode, and this season has already paid her and Anakin far too much attention, even if the writers have improved the character. She is now barely -- and I mean barely -- tolerable. That or my standards for Star Wars have lowered yet again.
Not a terrible episode, but its inconsequential and sandwiched between two far superior episodes.
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode207.html
This one was a helluva lot of fun.
This episode shifts its focus back to where it belongs: on Anakin and Obi-Wan. Their dialog -- especially Obi-Wan's -- is a solid improvement over previous episodes. The most enjoyable sequence in the whole episode is actually dialog-driven, when Obi-Wan is stalling for time in front of the Queen. That's a big change for this show.
It's a little late in the game for retconning zombies on Geonosis, but there's a wonderfully mad, silly brilliance to worms that slither up giant dead alien bugs' noses and turn them into zombies.
Legacy of Terror wears its influences on its sleeve -- especially Aliens -- a little too proudly, but it's one of the better Clone Wars stories to date.
Returning to Geonosis is a an odd choice, since it's shown as an all-out victory in Attack of the Clones, but I'm sure the creative team wanted something besides droids to shoot, hack, blow up, and set on fire for a change, and doing all that to giant bugs keeps the carnage kid-friendly.
It reminded me of the original Clone Wars TV series. Not in its tone, but in its skillful way of creating just enough story to make all the action scenes feel like more than just a bunch of action scenes.
Despite the show's problems, these guys can always compose exciting action. And this one delivers on a scale not seen since the movies.
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode206.html
Meh.
It's an Ahsoka episode, and this season has already paid her and Anakin far too much attention, even if the writers have improved the character. She is now barely -- and I mean barely -- tolerable. That or my standards for Star Wars have lowered yet again.
Not a terrible episode, but its inconsequential and sandwiched between two far superior episodes.
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode207.html
This one was a helluva lot of fun.
This episode shifts its focus back to where it belongs: on Anakin and Obi-Wan. Their dialog -- especially Obi-Wan's -- is a solid improvement over previous episodes. The most enjoyable sequence in the whole episode is actually dialog-driven, when Obi-Wan is stalling for time in front of the Queen. That's a big change for this show.
It's a little late in the game for retconning zombies on Geonosis, but there's a wonderfully mad, silly brilliance to worms that slither up giant dead alien bugs' noses and turn them into zombies.
Legacy of Terror wears its influences on its sleeve -- especially Aliens -- a little too proudly, but it's one of the better Clone Wars stories to date.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episodes 4 -- Senate Spy
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode204.html
There's an episode or two in every season of a show that's just there -- nothing bad, nothing great. Senate Spy is one of those episodes. The show is significant, though, for two reasons.
First, it's the creative team's first attempt at making an episode without a single action scene. I wonder how that played to kids -- especially since the episode focuses on Anakin and Padme's relationship, which I'm sure kids find "icky." Of course, that isn't surprising, since adults found their romance in the prequels to be icky as well.
That being said, the dialog for Anakin and Padme's scenes here is better -- much better -- than the movies, and the voice actors are actually an improvement over Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. Their first scene together is surprisingly successful.
The second curious thing about Senate Spy is that it's a direct homage to Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious. I don't know whose idea that was, but they got moxie. Not just for attempting -- and mostly succeeding -- to adapt that story into a kids' show, but mostly for the fact that this episode skirts the line between "homage" and "blatant rip-off." While abridged and adapted for Star Wars, Spy's final act lifts whole lines and camera angles from Notorious. I'm unable to pass judgment on these guys, since a genuine affection for Notorious is obvious, but one could possibly make a case for copyright infringement here.
The real problem with this episode is that it lacks the central hook of Notorious: Ingrid Bergman's character actually seduces and marries the traitor, and she becomes the man's penis receptacle for an indeterminate amount of time, while Cary Grant is torn between his feelings and his duty. Without this hook, Senate Spy is an incredibly odd yet tame Star Wars story: we know Padme would never cheat on Anakin in this episode, that Anakin would do anything to protect her, and yet Anakin is fated to kill her a few years later.
Odd.
There's an episode or two in every season of a show that's just there -- nothing bad, nothing great. Senate Spy is one of those episodes. The show is significant, though, for two reasons.
First, it's the creative team's first attempt at making an episode without a single action scene. I wonder how that played to kids -- especially since the episode focuses on Anakin and Padme's relationship, which I'm sure kids find "icky." Of course, that isn't surprising, since adults found their romance in the prequels to be icky as well.
That being said, the dialog for Anakin and Padme's scenes here is better -- much better -- than the movies, and the voice actors are actually an improvement over Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. Their first scene together is surprisingly successful.
The second curious thing about Senate Spy is that it's a direct homage to Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious. I don't know whose idea that was, but they got moxie. Not just for attempting -- and mostly succeeding -- to adapt that story into a kids' show, but mostly for the fact that this episode skirts the line between "homage" and "blatant rip-off." While abridged and adapted for Star Wars, Spy's final act lifts whole lines and camera angles from Notorious. I'm unable to pass judgment on these guys, since a genuine affection for Notorious is obvious, but one could possibly make a case for copyright infringement here.
The real problem with this episode is that it lacks the central hook of Notorious: Ingrid Bergman's character actually seduces and marries the traitor, and she becomes the man's penis receptacle for an indeterminate amount of time, while Cary Grant is torn between his feelings and his duty. Without this hook, Senate Spy is an incredibly odd yet tame Star Wars story: we know Padme would never cheat on Anakin in this episode, that Anakin would do anything to protect her, and yet Anakin is fated to kill her a few years later.
Odd.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episode 3 - Children of the Force
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode203.html
Completely forgot I was going to chronicle one adult Star Wars fan's take on where Lucas is taking the franchise these days. So let's get this done:
It's hard not to be blunt about this episode, the third and final episode of a story arc involving Palpatine's plan to kidnap and indoctrinate Force-sensitive children. Why? Because Filoni and company pretty much blow the dismount.
The writers crammed at least several episodes worth of material into one episode, making it one of the most frantic, underdeveloped Clone Wars episodes to date -- with a horribly easy and clean resolution, a complete tonal shift from the previous two episodes. None of this would be too disappointing if this was not the show's best story arc to date.
It was something for adult fans -- especially lovers of the early EU novels -- to enjoy with or without their kids. After all, where did the Emperor get all those Force-sensitive minions from? After all, it's not like the Emperor put an ad out in the galactic papers that said:
Single White Emperor looking for Spies/Assassins with like-minded goals. Humans preferred, Force-Sensitivity required. Travel, flexible hours, and a full benefits package (*). Be your own boss (**)!
* Our generous health plan does not cover Force-Choke related injuries.
** You are not -- and never will be -- your own boss. Emperor Palpatine is lord and master of all things.
So, um, yeah, this could have been a big step forward for The Clone Wars, a truly awesome story arc, one that could have lasted them the whole season. As it is, this episode casts a shadow on the previous two, though they're still pretty damn fun -- especially that zero-G shootout.
Completely forgot I was going to chronicle one adult Star Wars fan's take on where Lucas is taking the franchise these days. So let's get this done:
It's hard not to be blunt about this episode, the third and final episode of a story arc involving Palpatine's plan to kidnap and indoctrinate Force-sensitive children. Why? Because Filoni and company pretty much blow the dismount.
The writers crammed at least several episodes worth of material into one episode, making it one of the most frantic, underdeveloped Clone Wars episodes to date -- with a horribly easy and clean resolution, a complete tonal shift from the previous two episodes. None of this would be too disappointing if this was not the show's best story arc to date.
It was something for adult fans -- especially lovers of the early EU novels -- to enjoy with or without their kids. After all, where did the Emperor get all those Force-sensitive minions from? After all, it's not like the Emperor put an ad out in the galactic papers that said:
Single White Emperor looking for Spies/Assassins with like-minded goals. Humans preferred, Force-Sensitivity required. Travel, flexible hours, and a full benefits package (*). Be your own boss (**)!
* Our generous health plan does not cover Force-Choke related injuries.
** You are not -- and never will be -- your own boss. Emperor Palpatine is lord and master of all things.
So, um, yeah, this could have been a big step forward for The Clone Wars, a truly awesome story arc, one that could have lasted them the whole season. As it is, this episode casts a shadow on the previous two, though they're still pretty damn fun -- especially that zero-G shootout.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episodes 1 and 2 -- Holocron Heist and Cargo of Doom (Part II)
http://geekemporium.blogspot.com/2009/10/clone-wars-season-2-episodes-i-and-ii.html
...from Anakin and Obi-Wan, which should be the heart of this show.
The battle droid jokes are better -- still a few too many, but they don't interfere with the pace of the story. More importantly, the second episode had some dialog for the battle droids that wasn't just comic relief. In the torture sequence there was a dispassionate droid that reminded me that these things could be taken seriously. The show needs more of this, because as amusing as all these Rosencrank and Guildendroid bits are in theory, these characters should be at least remotely threatening.
Lastly, the plot holes...
If there was a real problem with these two episodes (to say nothing of every Lucas-sponsored story since The Phantom Menace), it's that the Jedi's powers are as strong or weak as necessary in a given scene to keep the plot going. Cad Bane -- who, like Heath Ledger's Joker in the The Dark Knight -- comes up with plans far too complex to be remotely believable. He makes the Jedi looks like a bunch of retarded kids riding the short Star Destroyer. His escape in the first episode was a stretch but tolerable. The end of Cargo of Doom is lazy writing defined. I think even a young kid would be screaming, "He's right next to you, stupid!" at Anakin. Of course, the whole point of this show is to get these sort of reactions out of kids, so I'll shut up.
Still, despite these criticisms, Heist and Doom feel more like Star Wars than any of the previous episodes. I hope that Filioni and co. can maintain this quality.
...from Anakin and Obi-Wan, which should be the heart of this show.
The battle droid jokes are better -- still a few too many, but they don't interfere with the pace of the story. More importantly, the second episode had some dialog for the battle droids that wasn't just comic relief. In the torture sequence there was a dispassionate droid that reminded me that these things could be taken seriously. The show needs more of this, because as amusing as all these Rosencrank and Guildendroid bits are in theory, these characters should be at least remotely threatening.
Lastly, the plot holes...
If there was a real problem with these two episodes (to say nothing of every Lucas-sponsored story since The Phantom Menace), it's that the Jedi's powers are as strong or weak as necessary in a given scene to keep the plot going. Cad Bane -- who, like Heath Ledger's Joker in the The Dark Knight -- comes up with plans far too complex to be remotely believable. He makes the Jedi looks like a bunch of retarded kids riding the short Star Destroyer. His escape in the first episode was a stretch but tolerable. The end of Cargo of Doom is lazy writing defined. I think even a young kid would be screaming, "He's right next to you, stupid!" at Anakin. Of course, the whole point of this show is to get these sort of reactions out of kids, so I'll shut up.
Still, despite these criticisms, Heist and Doom feel more like Star Wars than any of the previous episodes. I hope that Filioni and co. can maintain this quality.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The Clone Wars: Season 2, Episodes 1 and 2 -- Holocron Heist and Cargo of Doom (Part I)
When reviewing the first season of The Clone Wars, I never assigned an actual rating to any of the episodes. Instead, I made sure to note whether casual, adult fans of Star Wars -- people like me, who grew up with the original trilogy -- might actually enjoy a particular episode, either alone or with their children. Less than half of the first season made that list, but the two episodes that kicked off season 2 last Friday, Holocron Heist and Cargo of Doom, set a new level of quality for the series. I can easily recommend these two episodes to casual fans -- especially those who have been avoiding the show like the plague since the movie came out last summer.
Of course, I'd only recommend them to newcomers who have a little perspective. The Clone Wars is still, for all intents and purposes, a kids' show. The show's biggest faults are still here -- Ahsoka, battle droid humor, and lazy and/or dumbed down storytelling -- but the writers have definitely made an attempt to tone these elements down or improve them.
Ahsoka is far less annoying, but she's still a needless, unwelcome character. She's much more tolerable in these two episodes than in previous ones, but no matter how much she is improved, she just doesn't need to exist. She takes valuable time away...
Next Review Here
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Karen Traviss Retiring from Star Wars (Part III)
http://nerdvana.freedomblogging.com/2009/08/09/star-wars-canon-is-finally-shooting-itself-in-the-foot/26259/
(First off, the link above - glad to see I'm not the only one with this opinion.)
...a publishing event with the Thrawn trilogy, one Star Wars novel a year, quickly became an onslaught of books, comics, videogames, and now TV shows. Some of these stories have been good, most of them decent, and a handful of them appallingly bad (Kevin J. Anderson, I'm looking in your general direction) - but for some reason, someone thought that these hundreds of stories by dozens of authors across multiple forms of media should all coexist together. That should all be considered...canon (cue sinister music).
This would've been all well and good, if it hadn't quickly become clear that George Lucas wasn't done with Star Wars. I'm not a huge follower of the EU (Star Wars should end with Return of the Jedi - and it is a happy ending), but I know a good portion of the novels written before The Phantom Menace's release have been negated by the prequel trilogy - even Timothy Zahn's Thrawn novels. And as we see with Karen Traviss's departure from Star Wars, it's a problem that's only getting worse, now that there's a weekly TV show set during The Clone Wars, with another TV show, set during the period between Episodes III and IV, on the way.
After 1999, I thought we'd see a much firmer hand by Lucas and his editors in regards to the tie-in books, especially those set in the prequel trilogy: fewer books, published farther apart, with more attention paid to producing a cohesive universe.
But the release schedule for Star Wars stories - especially the novels - has only increased in this decade, and the canon has grown bloated, convoluted, and often inaccessible to casual fans. It's like Stars Wars is going down the road as...
(First off, the link above - glad to see I'm not the only one with this opinion.)
...a publishing event with the Thrawn trilogy, one Star Wars novel a year, quickly became an onslaught of books, comics, videogames, and now TV shows. Some of these stories have been good, most of them decent, and a handful of them appallingly bad (Kevin J. Anderson, I'm looking in your general direction) - but for some reason, someone thought that these hundreds of stories by dozens of authors across multiple forms of media should all coexist together. That should all be considered...canon (cue sinister music).
This would've been all well and good, if it hadn't quickly become clear that George Lucas wasn't done with Star Wars. I'm not a huge follower of the EU (Star Wars should end with Return of the Jedi - and it is a happy ending), but I know a good portion of the novels written before The Phantom Menace's release have been negated by the prequel trilogy - even Timothy Zahn's Thrawn novels. And as we see with Karen Traviss's departure from Star Wars, it's a problem that's only getting worse, now that there's a weekly TV show set during The Clone Wars, with another TV show, set during the period between Episodes III and IV, on the way.
After 1999, I thought we'd see a much firmer hand by Lucas and his editors in regards to the tie-in books, especially those set in the prequel trilogy: fewer books, published farther apart, with more attention paid to producing a cohesive universe.
But the release schedule for Star Wars stories - especially the novels - has only increased in this decade, and the canon has grown bloated, convoluted, and often inaccessible to casual fans. It's like Stars Wars is going down the road as...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Karen Traviss Retiring from Star Wars (Part II)
http://boards.theforce.net/literature/b10003/30331941/p1
...moxie. To use a now classic Star Wars analogy, her clones shot first - a lot. Nor did she mind giving her characters rough edges or flaws, even the Jedi. I didn't realize until looking at the forums linked above, but her take - and it truly was her take - on Star Wars produced very strong reactions out of fans, both positive and negative. But to me, getting a strong emotional reaction out of readers means that she was doing something right. Of course, at the same time, she's the lady that killed Mara Jade (whether it was her idea or not, she was the messenger - and, baby, did people ever shoot the messenger on that one), but the less said about the Legacy of the Force series, the better.
I don't want to comment too much on her reasons for leaving, which seems to be that her version of Mando culture and/or Boba Fett is about to be completely negated by one - if not both - of the TV shows. Not having all the facts, I'm going to steer clear of any opinions or blame on that matter.
But Traviss's depature shows a real problem with Star Wars these days, which is no one person's fault, but is something that needs to be addressed. I'm a passionate fan, but I'm also a fan with perspective. The blame doesn't fall on her shoulders, or The Clone Wars writers, or even George Lucas. The problem is simply that there has been too much material produced since Timothy Zahn took the first step in creating what is now called the Expanded Universe back in the early 90's.
What started as...
...moxie. To use a now classic Star Wars analogy, her clones shot first - a lot. Nor did she mind giving her characters rough edges or flaws, even the Jedi. I didn't realize until looking at the forums linked above, but her take - and it truly was her take - on Star Wars produced very strong reactions out of fans, both positive and negative. But to me, getting a strong emotional reaction out of readers means that she was doing something right. Of course, at the same time, she's the lady that killed Mara Jade (whether it was her idea or not, she was the messenger - and, baby, did people ever shoot the messenger on that one), but the less said about the Legacy of the Force series, the better.
I don't want to comment too much on her reasons for leaving, which seems to be that her version of Mando culture and/or Boba Fett is about to be completely negated by one - if not both - of the TV shows. Not having all the facts, I'm going to steer clear of any opinions or blame on that matter.
But Traviss's depature shows a real problem with Star Wars these days, which is no one person's fault, but is something that needs to be addressed. I'm a passionate fan, but I'm also a fan with perspective. The blame doesn't fall on her shoulders, or The Clone Wars writers, or even George Lucas. The problem is simply that there has been too much material produced since Timothy Zahn took the first step in creating what is now called the Expanded Universe back in the early 90's.
What started as...
Monday, June 1, 2009
Star Wars: The Old Republic
http://www.swtor.com/media/trailers/deceived-cinematic-trailer
I don't know what happened in my pants after watching this video - but, by God, something happened.
Can we get whoever made this video to take over The Clone Wars TV show...or just give them a show of their own, preferably the latter?
I don't know what happened in my pants after watching this video - but, by God, something happened.
Can we get whoever made this video to take over The Clone Wars TV show...or just give them a show of their own, preferably the latter?
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Clone Wars (Season 1 Recap)
http://geekemporium.blogspot.com/search?q=The+Clone+Wars
I planned on chronicling one Star Wars fan's highs and lows (especially the lows - face it, the highs aren't funny), with thoughts on each episode of the first season of The Clone Wars. I stopped about two-thirds into the season. Here's what happened:
The week after The Hidden Enemy came out, I had nothing interesting to say about the show. I meant to get around to it, since I liked the episode - but then came the Blue Shadow Virus episodes, which were so amazingly, appallingly bad (even worse than the Clone Wars movie) that I just gave up - not on the show, but spending the time to talk about it. Frankly, I had better things to do.
So here's a very, very quick rant on the end of Season 1:
The season ended decently enough, with only The Hidden Enemy matching the quality of Rookies, Lair of Grievous, or Trespass - the show's best episodes to date. The Ryloth were too disconnected to ever build much momentum, though the action scenes still delivered in that way that only Star Wars can. And the final episode, Hostage Crisis, introduced new characters and a new level of carnage, but then everything circled the bowl when Ziro the Hutt (*) showed up for what seems to be the required annoying character with lame jokes section of the story.
I'll be back for Season 2. I never judge a sci-fi show by its first season. And, hey, I'm that kind of Star Wars fan. I haven't decided whether I'll take the time to post about it, though. That will depend on the quality of the episodes. It'll have to get a lot better or a lot worse to make it worth my time.
* When I heard about the character last summer, I was actually amused by the idea. I never thought of the character as gay (pondering the sexual mechanics/practices of fictional aliens is not something I do with my leisure time - unless I'm posting fan fiction erotica on Livejournal). I just thought he would look like a normal Hutt with a more "Capote-ish" face and voice. Instead, he looked like a tarted-up, two galactic credit Hutt whore.
I should have remembered before seeing the film that Star Wars + Humor - Harrison Ford = fall flat on face. It's not that the character sounds like Capote or is "gay." He's quite literally the Queen of All Gay Slug Stereotypes.
Even worse, he's just not funny.
Now if Mr. Bane had shown up to kill him... That might have made the whole Clone Wars movie worth it.
I planned on chronicling one Star Wars fan's highs and lows (especially the lows - face it, the highs aren't funny), with thoughts on each episode of the first season of The Clone Wars. I stopped about two-thirds into the season. Here's what happened:
The week after The Hidden Enemy came out, I had nothing interesting to say about the show. I meant to get around to it, since I liked the episode - but then came the Blue Shadow Virus episodes, which were so amazingly, appallingly bad (even worse than the Clone Wars movie) that I just gave up - not on the show, but spending the time to talk about it. Frankly, I had better things to do.
So here's a very, very quick rant on the end of Season 1:
The season ended decently enough, with only The Hidden Enemy matching the quality of Rookies, Lair of Grievous, or Trespass - the show's best episodes to date. The Ryloth were too disconnected to ever build much momentum, though the action scenes still delivered in that way that only Star Wars can. And the final episode, Hostage Crisis, introduced new characters and a new level of carnage, but then everything circled the bowl when Ziro the Hutt (*) showed up for what seems to be the required annoying character with lame jokes section of the story.
I'll be back for Season 2. I never judge a sci-fi show by its first season. And, hey, I'm that kind of Star Wars fan. I haven't decided whether I'll take the time to post about it, though. That will depend on the quality of the episodes. It'll have to get a lot better or a lot worse to make it worth my time.
* When I heard about the character last summer, I was actually amused by the idea. I never thought of the character as gay (pondering the sexual mechanics/practices of fictional aliens is not something I do with my leisure time - unless I'm posting fan fiction erotica on Livejournal). I just thought he would look like a normal Hutt with a more "Capote-ish" face and voice. Instead, he looked like a tarted-up, two galactic credit Hutt whore.
I should have remembered before seeing the film that Star Wars + Humor - Harrison Ford = fall flat on face. It's not that the character sounds like Capote or is "gay." He's quite literally the Queen of All Gay Slug Stereotypes.
Even worse, he's just not funny.
Now if Mr. Bane had shown up to kill him... That might have made the whole Clone Wars movie worth it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Weekend Plans of the Nerd Kind (March 6th - March 8th)
http://www.avclub.com/articles/book-vs-film-watchmen,24746/
WRITING: I've been updating less and less these days. Three reasons why:
1) All the kick-ass games that came out last month.
2) Stupid, stressful events at work. (I know, I know: boo-hoo. What with having a job these days - and a pretty good one, to boot.)
3) The scripts are coming along.
There are some things I've wanted to write about here, but the scripts come first. And I've decided to add updates on the scripts as part of this weekly post.
Still stalled on the screenplay, which is at 64 pages (the average screenplay is around 120 pages). It's a fusion of genres that I love, but the two genres mix about as well as oil and water when it comes to pace. Frankly, I still don't have a final act for this story that I like. It is, in part, a horror story. And very few horror stories that start strong end strong. I don't want to blow the ending. I've come up with a few ideas, but none of them are right. Not yet. Wrote half a scene that I liked this week, but it's a bit further along in the story. It's the first time I allowed myself to do this since starting this script last summer (I don't like writing things out of order - don't know why), but the idea came to me fully formed on Tuesday. The scene is half finished, but it's a nice little intimate scene between two characters. Don't have an ending for it. Endings seem to be in short supply with this story.
Started a new script for an original comic miniseries. Tentative title: Big F***ing Robots! Halfway through the first draft of the first issue, with 13 of 25 pages scripted. Probably turn out to be around six or seven issues long. Frankly, I have no idea where the story is going, but it's intended solely to entertain. Lots of big robots, lots of action, lots of humor - the exact kind of story I would have wanted at fourteen, when I thought there was nothing better in this world than Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Army of Darkness. This one is supposed to be fun, for me to write and for audiences to (hopefully) read. Anyone know any artists or how to break into the comic book industry?
TV and MOVIES: Look forward to the second episode in The Clone War's "Ryloth" trilogy, especially since I think we're free of the tyranny of Ahsoka - at least in large quantities - for the rest of the season. Could be fun.
Have The Forbidden Kingdom, Dog Soldiers, The Zombie Diaries, and Love Liza checked out from work. Will probably knock out one or two of those this weekend. Once again, that's an eclectic mix - but eclectic is how I roll, baby...
Watchman on Sunday. Still more intrigued than outright excited - but the buzz from friends and critics has been positive, with minor to moderate complaints. Probably post some thoughts on it early next week. Let everyone have a few days to see it and digest it.
GAMES: Going to go easy on the games this week. Burned out from all the marathon sessions of The Lost and the Damned and Dawn of War II in the last two weeks. Probably do a few rounds of Team Fortress 2 if people have quit being retarded with their achievement whoring. I'm not kidding when I say that, for the first few days after the Scout update debuted, half the players on a server were playing as a Scout, without any knowledge of how to play the class or desire to play the game with the team's goals at heart. Very frustrating. But it should be back to normal soon.
Lousy goddamn achievement whores...
BOOKS: Finished The Big Sleep last week. Almost put it down in the middle, due to a very ugly scene involving Philip Marlowe doing some gay-bashing, both literally and figuratively. I stuck with it, enjoyed the book, but that bit did sour the experience. Started Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Halfway through, and I don't think I'm going to finish it. Not a fan of Dick's prose and the story is nearly impossible to follow in several key bits.
Going to finish Watchmen before Sunday, before I see the film and so I can pass it along to my brother. Don't know what I'll read after that. I'll have to do some zen browsing through my library for a new graphic novel and book later this weekend.
End of line.
WRITING: I've been updating less and less these days. Three reasons why:
1) All the kick-ass games that came out last month.
2) Stupid, stressful events at work. (I know, I know: boo-hoo. What with having a job these days - and a pretty good one, to boot.)
3) The scripts are coming along.
There are some things I've wanted to write about here, but the scripts come first. And I've decided to add updates on the scripts as part of this weekly post.
Still stalled on the screenplay, which is at 64 pages (the average screenplay is around 120 pages). It's a fusion of genres that I love, but the two genres mix about as well as oil and water when it comes to pace. Frankly, I still don't have a final act for this story that I like. It is, in part, a horror story. And very few horror stories that start strong end strong. I don't want to blow the ending. I've come up with a few ideas, but none of them are right. Not yet. Wrote half a scene that I liked this week, but it's a bit further along in the story. It's the first time I allowed myself to do this since starting this script last summer (I don't like writing things out of order - don't know why), but the idea came to me fully formed on Tuesday. The scene is half finished, but it's a nice little intimate scene between two characters. Don't have an ending for it. Endings seem to be in short supply with this story.
Started a new script for an original comic miniseries. Tentative title: Big F***ing Robots! Halfway through the first draft of the first issue, with 13 of 25 pages scripted. Probably turn out to be around six or seven issues long. Frankly, I have no idea where the story is going, but it's intended solely to entertain. Lots of big robots, lots of action, lots of humor - the exact kind of story I would have wanted at fourteen, when I thought there was nothing better in this world than Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Army of Darkness. This one is supposed to be fun, for me to write and for audiences to (hopefully) read. Anyone know any artists or how to break into the comic book industry?
TV and MOVIES: Look forward to the second episode in The Clone War's "Ryloth" trilogy, especially since I think we're free of the tyranny of Ahsoka - at least in large quantities - for the rest of the season. Could be fun.
Have The Forbidden Kingdom, Dog Soldiers, The Zombie Diaries, and Love Liza checked out from work. Will probably knock out one or two of those this weekend. Once again, that's an eclectic mix - but eclectic is how I roll, baby...
Watchman on Sunday. Still more intrigued than outright excited - but the buzz from friends and critics has been positive, with minor to moderate complaints. Probably post some thoughts on it early next week. Let everyone have a few days to see it and digest it.
GAMES: Going to go easy on the games this week. Burned out from all the marathon sessions of The Lost and the Damned and Dawn of War II in the last two weeks. Probably do a few rounds of Team Fortress 2 if people have quit being retarded with their achievement whoring. I'm not kidding when I say that, for the first few days after the Scout update debuted, half the players on a server were playing as a Scout, without any knowledge of how to play the class or desire to play the game with the team's goals at heart. Very frustrating. But it should be back to normal soon.
Lousy goddamn achievement whores...
BOOKS: Finished The Big Sleep last week. Almost put it down in the middle, due to a very ugly scene involving Philip Marlowe doing some gay-bashing, both literally and figuratively. I stuck with it, enjoyed the book, but that bit did sour the experience. Started Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Halfway through, and I don't think I'm going to finish it. Not a fan of Dick's prose and the story is nearly impossible to follow in several key bits.
Going to finish Watchmen before Sunday, before I see the film and so I can pass it along to my brother. Don't know what I'll read after that. I'll have to do some zen browsing through my library for a new graphic novel and book later this weekend.
End of line.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Clone Wars: Episode 15 - "Trespass"
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode015.html
Now this is more like it.
Before the movie came out last August, I expected that stories of this quality would be the rule, instead of the exception. Trespass doesn't feel like Star Wars, it is Star Wars.
Give it a watch when it shows up on the official website on Friday. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Now this is more like it.
Before the movie came out last August, I expected that stories of this quality would be the rule, instead of the exception. Trespass doesn't feel like Star Wars, it is Star Wars.
Give it a watch when it shows up on the official website on Friday. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The Clone Wars: Episode 14 - "Defenders of Peace"
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode014.html
George Takei, baby. George Takei.
Initially, I was a bit uncomfortable with him voicing a Neimoidian. I don't believe that George Lucas is in anyway racist. I think he gave the almost Charlie Chan accents to the Neimoidians in The Phantom Menace to evoke the 30's serials and pulps that he grew up with, one of Star Wars's biggest influences, but those stories were full of horrendous stereotypes and/or overt bigotry towards Asians. I'm not sure what Lucas was thinking with that one - but, man, I wouldn't have done it.
Luckily, there's no broken "engrish" of any kind - all Takei does is amp that awesome voice of his up to eleven. He clearly enjoyed the hell out of being the bad guy, which helps alleviate one of the sore spots I have with the prequels.
And this is one of the best episodes of the show to date. Unlike last week's episode, the story fits the runtime of the show comfortably. There's enough time for both the action scenes and the smaller character moments. Neither feel rushed and there are a lot of fun moments throughout the episode.
My only big complaint with this episode is its ethical argument. The story was never designed for the audience to see the validity of the Lurmens' pacifist beliefs, or for the audience to see that the Jedi actually are defenders of the peace, since they seem to have quite a hoot with their ass-kicking duties. I wouldn't go as far as to say the message of this episode was "sometimes you just gotta kick some ass," but I wonder what kind of message this sent to kids - especially in these times, while our country is at war. It helps that even when the Lurmens do fight back, they do so in a non-lethal way. Of course, the only thing they fight is droids, so who really cares?
Leave the ethical dilemmas to Star Trek, guys - even if you do have George Takei on the payroll.
George Takei, baby. George Takei.
Initially, I was a bit uncomfortable with him voicing a Neimoidian. I don't believe that George Lucas is in anyway racist. I think he gave the almost Charlie Chan accents to the Neimoidians in The Phantom Menace to evoke the 30's serials and pulps that he grew up with, one of Star Wars's biggest influences, but those stories were full of horrendous stereotypes and/or overt bigotry towards Asians. I'm not sure what Lucas was thinking with that one - but, man, I wouldn't have done it.
Luckily, there's no broken "engrish" of any kind - all Takei does is amp that awesome voice of his up to eleven. He clearly enjoyed the hell out of being the bad guy, which helps alleviate one of the sore spots I have with the prequels.
And this is one of the best episodes of the show to date. Unlike last week's episode, the story fits the runtime of the show comfortably. There's enough time for both the action scenes and the smaller character moments. Neither feel rushed and there are a lot of fun moments throughout the episode.
My only big complaint with this episode is its ethical argument. The story was never designed for the audience to see the validity of the Lurmens' pacifist beliefs, or for the audience to see that the Jedi actually are defenders of the peace, since they seem to have quite a hoot with their ass-kicking duties. I wouldn't go as far as to say the message of this episode was "sometimes you just gotta kick some ass," but I wonder what kind of message this sent to kids - especially in these times, while our country is at war. It helps that even when the Lurmens do fight back, they do so in a non-lethal way. Of course, the only thing they fight is droids, so who really cares?
Leave the ethical dilemmas to Star Trek, guys - even if you do have George Takei on the payroll.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Weekend Plans of Nerd Kind (January 23rd-25th)
Fighting off a sinus infection, so I'm gonna make this quick.
TV and MOVIES: Babylon 5...maybe. Watched the episode that ends the Shadow War on Monday and haven't cared to watch it since. I can't think of a more boring explanation for the Vorlon/Shadow conflict or a more anticlimactic resolution to it - except maybe if their centuries-old conflict started because the Vorlon's drank Miller Lite because it "tastes great," while the Shadow's drank the same beer because it was "less filling," and this conflict was finally settled by a drinking contest, moderated by Captain Sheridan.
I don't know why they ended the show's main story so early in the fourth season, with 30 shows to go in it's intended five-season run.
Other than that, look forward to the end of the Irish monkey hippie two-parter on Clone Wars.
GAMES: Saturday is game night, and we alternate between Heavy Gear and 4th Edition D&D, depending on who shows up. Hoping for Heavy Gear. 4 Ed. is all right, but there's too many modifiers to keep track of, and the combat feels shallow and repetitive after only six levels worth of play. We have less players for 4th Ed., so I'm playing two characters, a dwarf fighter and a dwarf cleric. This is the first time I've played anything but a human in any RPG our group has played, and I'm loving the change. The cleric is growing on me more than the fighter, because the at-will, encounter, and daily powers work better with magic users, and don't totally sync with the martial classes.
Other than that, probably spend most of my time with the beta versions of Quake Live and Dawn of War 2.
BOOKS: About a third of the way through Republic Commando: Triple Zero. It takes awhile for the main story - Omega Squad getting their black ops on in downtown Coruscant - to kick in, but Karen Traviss takes the time to introduce new characters and expand on existing ones. It's time well spent, but I'm ready for the story to get moving.
TV and MOVIES: Babylon 5...maybe. Watched the episode that ends the Shadow War on Monday and haven't cared to watch it since. I can't think of a more boring explanation for the Vorlon/Shadow conflict or a more anticlimactic resolution to it - except maybe if their centuries-old conflict started because the Vorlon's drank Miller Lite because it "tastes great," while the Shadow's drank the same beer because it was "less filling," and this conflict was finally settled by a drinking contest, moderated by Captain Sheridan.
I don't know why they ended the show's main story so early in the fourth season, with 30 shows to go in it's intended five-season run.
Other than that, look forward to the end of the Irish monkey hippie two-parter on Clone Wars.
GAMES: Saturday is game night, and we alternate between Heavy Gear and 4th Edition D&D, depending on who shows up. Hoping for Heavy Gear. 4 Ed. is all right, but there's too many modifiers to keep track of, and the combat feels shallow and repetitive after only six levels worth of play. We have less players for 4th Ed., so I'm playing two characters, a dwarf fighter and a dwarf cleric. This is the first time I've played anything but a human in any RPG our group has played, and I'm loving the change. The cleric is growing on me more than the fighter, because the at-will, encounter, and daily powers work better with magic users, and don't totally sync with the martial classes.
Other than that, probably spend most of my time with the beta versions of Quake Live and Dawn of War 2.
BOOKS: About a third of the way through Republic Commando: Triple Zero. It takes awhile for the main story - Omega Squad getting their black ops on in downtown Coruscant - to kick in, but Karen Traviss takes the time to introduce new characters and expand on existing ones. It's time well spent, but I'm ready for the story to get moving.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Clone Wars: Episode 13 - "Jedi Crash"
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode013.html
As the final episode of the first season to go into production, Jedi Crash marks how far the show has come since the movie...and what needs to be fixed in subsequent seasons for the show to become the equal of the movies they're based on.
Only a handful of the episodes so far have comfortably fit into the show's half-hour format, with either too much going on or too little - and every episode but Rookies has followed too many characters. Even though this is one of the better episodes of the season, Jedi Crash is rushed and dramatically inert. There's actually two episodes worth of material here, crammed into twenty-two and a half minutes.
Unlike the Malevolence arc earlier this season, there's enough story here for three episodes, because there are three acts to this story: the Jedi arriving on the planet, the Jedi surviving their first encounters with the planet's wildlife and befriending the locals, and finally, the Jedi protecting the locals from The Trade Federation. This episode should have ended minutes after the ship crashed, and the second episode should have ended right about where Jedi Crash actually ends.
The opening battle - enjoyable as it is - ends just as it gets going. The emotional core of the story takes the biggest hit, though. There's actually some intriguing ideas in this episode: the Jedi's attitudes towards attachments is cast in a slightly different light, the pacifist nature of the local villagers, and an interesting - and persuasive - argument that the Jedi are no longer the peacekeepers that they imagine they are. The problem is that these ideas remain nothing but ideas, merely dialog spoken back and forth between characters without any true dramatic conflict.
All in all, still a pretty damn fun episode. Another that I'd recommend to casual fans.
* * * *
Postscript: Did anyone else find it odd that the French Jedi was a badass, while the Irish/Scottish monkey hippies (which begs the question, do monkey hippies have more fleas than human hippies?) were, quite literally, a bunch of surrender monkeys?
As the final episode of the first season to go into production, Jedi Crash marks how far the show has come since the movie...and what needs to be fixed in subsequent seasons for the show to become the equal of the movies they're based on.
Only a handful of the episodes so far have comfortably fit into the show's half-hour format, with either too much going on or too little - and every episode but Rookies has followed too many characters. Even though this is one of the better episodes of the season, Jedi Crash is rushed and dramatically inert. There's actually two episodes worth of material here, crammed into twenty-two and a half minutes.
Unlike the Malevolence arc earlier this season, there's enough story here for three episodes, because there are three acts to this story: the Jedi arriving on the planet, the Jedi surviving their first encounters with the planet's wildlife and befriending the locals, and finally, the Jedi protecting the locals from The Trade Federation. This episode should have ended minutes after the ship crashed, and the second episode should have ended right about where Jedi Crash actually ends.
The opening battle - enjoyable as it is - ends just as it gets going. The emotional core of the story takes the biggest hit, though. There's actually some intriguing ideas in this episode: the Jedi's attitudes towards attachments is cast in a slightly different light, the pacifist nature of the local villagers, and an interesting - and persuasive - argument that the Jedi are no longer the peacekeepers that they imagine they are. The problem is that these ideas remain nothing but ideas, merely dialog spoken back and forth between characters without any true dramatic conflict.
All in all, still a pretty damn fun episode. Another that I'd recommend to casual fans.
* * * *
Postscript: Did anyone else find it odd that the French Jedi was a badass, while the Irish/Scottish monkey hippies (which begs the question, do monkey hippies have more fleas than human hippies?) were, quite literally, a bunch of surrender monkeys?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Weekend Plans of the Nerd Kind (January 16th-18th)
TV and MOVIES: Clone Wars, obviously - if Itunes actually posts it on time this week. I've got four or five episodes left of Babylon 5's third season, and I need to take care of those.
All five seasons of the show came in on DVD at once back in November, and I'm watching it from start to finish. Before this, I'd never seen an episode of the show. But I wanted to give it a try because I rather liked Straczynski's run on Spider-man. Also, being a fan of Deep Space Nine, I was curious to see how much Babylon 5 had in common with DS9, since I understand there's still some controversy over their similarities. Even in its third season, its still rough around the edges - though the quality of writing, acting, and production is decidedly improved from its first season.
GAMES: A little Left 4 Dead, surely. The wife and I are trying out Dokapon Kingdom for the Wii, and we're both enjoying the hell out of it. Though, it must be said, being an evil, backstabbing bastard comes much easier to me than it does to her. She actually hates playing competitive games with other people, unless it's Scrabble or Mario Kart, where she becomes an incredibly poor loser and even poorer winner, due all the boasting, gloating, and smack talk.
If Gamefly gets off its ass, there are two more Wii games coming this week: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility and The Force Unleashed. I'll let you guess which one is for the wife and which one is for me.
BOOKS: More Star Wars, sad to say. There are times where my spare time is not solely devoted to the Wars, I swear.
I'm actually not a big fan of the Expanded Universe. I believe that the saga ends with Return of the Jedi, and it is a happy ending. I've got no problem with anything before Jedi, or something like the Legacy series of comic books, which is set a century or so after the saga ends with all new characters - but I hate just about every thing that every single novelist has done with every post-Jedi story featuring Luke, Leia, and Han.
But I do pick up a Clone Wars book now and again, if - only if - the story interests me. I decided to spend the first of '09 reading the entire Republic Commando series, by Karen Traviss. I read the first book, Hard Contact, when it came out a few years ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't know why I never read the others, but I'm starting the series over.
Karen Traviss does something that few other Star Wars writers can manage: she makes the universe her own and tells a story her way, on her own terms, while still telling a tale that is fundamentally Star Wars. She brings a lot of teeth and heart back to Star Wars, after the ups and downs of the prequels. With the exception Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, and their performances by Ewan MacGregor and Liam Neeson, I found the clones to be the most compelling part of the prequel trilogy. And they're at their best - and most tragic - in Traviss's work.
All five seasons of the show came in on DVD at once back in November, and I'm watching it from start to finish. Before this, I'd never seen an episode of the show. But I wanted to give it a try because I rather liked Straczynski's run on Spider-man. Also, being a fan of Deep Space Nine, I was curious to see how much Babylon 5 had in common with DS9, since I understand there's still some controversy over their similarities. Even in its third season, its still rough around the edges - though the quality of writing, acting, and production is decidedly improved from its first season.
GAMES: A little Left 4 Dead, surely. The wife and I are trying out Dokapon Kingdom for the Wii, and we're both enjoying the hell out of it. Though, it must be said, being an evil, backstabbing bastard comes much easier to me than it does to her. She actually hates playing competitive games with other people, unless it's Scrabble or Mario Kart, where she becomes an incredibly poor loser and even poorer winner, due all the boasting, gloating, and smack talk.
If Gamefly gets off its ass, there are two more Wii games coming this week: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility and The Force Unleashed. I'll let you guess which one is for the wife and which one is for me.
BOOKS: More Star Wars, sad to say. There are times where my spare time is not solely devoted to the Wars, I swear.
I'm actually not a big fan of the Expanded Universe. I believe that the saga ends with Return of the Jedi, and it is a happy ending. I've got no problem with anything before Jedi, or something like the Legacy series of comic books, which is set a century or so after the saga ends with all new characters - but I hate just about every thing that every single novelist has done with every post-Jedi story featuring Luke, Leia, and Han.
But I do pick up a Clone Wars book now and again, if - only if - the story interests me. I decided to spend the first of '09 reading the entire Republic Commando series, by Karen Traviss. I read the first book, Hard Contact, when it came out a few years ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't know why I never read the others, but I'm starting the series over.
Karen Traviss does something that few other Star Wars writers can manage: she makes the universe her own and tells a story her way, on her own terms, while still telling a tale that is fundamentally Star Wars. She brings a lot of teeth and heart back to Star Wars, after the ups and downs of the prequels. With the exception Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, and their performances by Ewan MacGregor and Liam Neeson, I found the clones to be the most compelling part of the prequel trilogy. And they're at their best - and most tragic - in Traviss's work.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Clone Wars: Episode 12 - "Gungan General"
http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/guide/episode012.html
Let's get the obvious hate out of the way: I need more Jar Jar in my regular Star Wars consumption like I need a papercut on my scrotum.
The character doesn't work. He will never work. He's less annoying in The Gungan General than usual, but that's still very, very annoying, indeed.
And, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, it takes valuable screen time away from the main story, which is actually pretty good. As silly as the "buddy" scenario with Dooku, Anakin, and Obi-Wan is, it works. Sure, it's hard to imagine this story is "canon" - but every once in a while, you just gotta say "screw canon" and have some fun. That's what separates the Wars from the Trek. Though if Anakin and Dooku keep bumping into each other every few episodes like this, they're going to have to retcon Anakin's line to Dooku in Revenge of the Sith from "My powers have doubled since the last time we met" to "My powers have doubled since we met last Tuesday."
Still, the dialog in their scenes - and for their captor Hondo Ohnaka, a surprisingly likable character who is high on charm and low on brains - is solid and enjoyable and above average for this show. Without Jar Jar, this could have been one of the best episodes of the series.
As it is, it's merely tolerable at best.
Let's get the obvious hate out of the way: I need more Jar Jar in my regular Star Wars consumption like I need a papercut on my scrotum.
The character doesn't work. He will never work. He's less annoying in The Gungan General than usual, but that's still very, very annoying, indeed.
And, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, it takes valuable screen time away from the main story, which is actually pretty good. As silly as the "buddy" scenario with Dooku, Anakin, and Obi-Wan is, it works. Sure, it's hard to imagine this story is "canon" - but every once in a while, you just gotta say "screw canon" and have some fun. That's what separates the Wars from the Trek. Though if Anakin and Dooku keep bumping into each other every few episodes like this, they're going to have to retcon Anakin's line to Dooku in Revenge of the Sith from "My powers have doubled since the last time we met" to "My powers have doubled since we met last Tuesday."
Still, the dialog in their scenes - and for their captor Hondo Ohnaka, a surprisingly likable character who is high on charm and low on brains - is solid and enjoyable and above average for this show. Without Jar Jar, this could have been one of the best episodes of the series.
As it is, it's merely tolerable at best.
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